Some times I can think of many things to say, some days I have nothing to say at all. Today, I have this to say.....
These Little Things
If we had a little time
One day
He may sit and read
and breath heavy sigh
A Dreamers Dream in pages
I'd take mine in gazes
His Skin or his eyes
And the way his hands work
While the world rushes to mass
A flash ideal without depth
Or reason
At every cursed pass
Let them have their seasons glory first
He turned this head
And inspired this verse
Written for someone I met recently...
That is all.
Saturday, 5 February 2011
Tuesday, 25 January 2011
Consumer Revelations
Adverts used to make me joyful. As a child, I would sing along with the subtle product invitations, unaware of the companies intent. It was a wonderful time.
Of late, I have sensed a lack of nuance on the part of the Advertisers. They don't want the kids to enjoy themselves and sing songs at all. They don't even give products responsible names and characteristics anymore. Granted in times past, Advertising was responsible for this inspired piece of ridiculous..
Well at least they are singing the F-Word. That's nice. Like miniature Julie Andrews' singing on their profitable popularity mountain.
As a child, I had a Battlecat and some Sylvanian Families. There was nothing reprehensible about the Badger Bakery.
The badger and the mole worked hard in that bakery.
I loved that bakery. I don't love Bratz.
Of late, I have sensed a lack of nuance on the part of the Advertisers. They don't want the kids to enjoy themselves and sing songs at all. They don't even give products responsible names and characteristics anymore. Granted in times past, Advertising was responsible for this inspired piece of ridiculous..
Including children in such irresponsible advertising. That is shocking. There is quite obviously nothing worse than this. Fast forward to the 21st century. Oh I'm sorry, I retract that statement, there is something worse...
I think my eyes are bleeding. I think the screaming in my head just hailed a sheep dog.
I think that the Four Horsemen of The Apocalypse have been given access to some eyeliner and low rise jeans. I don't know what message that poster conveys. On the surface probably, 'Come and see this Film' is likely. I will take a step back. This is an innocent fashionable baby with a microphone. The children need fashionable make up wearing babies. Let's all join in the spirit. Aren't they cute. They sing as well, the microphones aren't just for show.
Look....
Well at least they are singing the F-Word. That's nice. Like miniature Julie Andrews' singing on their profitable popularity mountain.
As a child, I had a Battlecat and some Sylvanian Families. There was nothing reprehensible about the Badger Bakery.
The badger and the mole worked hard in that bakery.
I loved that bakery. I don't love Bratz.
Monday, 24 January 2011
A Sharp and Silent Satire
The World Wide Wonder is responsible for many things. Ebay, Wikipedia, Porn.... More Porn. It is a colourful array of pass time options. It is also fast becoming the main source of communication. Gone are the days when we would talk to each other and laugh together. We now LOL. It is a form of laughter without the laughter. I would bet money that when you LOL you are not actually laughing. LMAO and ROFL were beyond me, I had to 'Google' them. Short ways of conveying an action that your friend cannot see.
I am not behind the times or some kind of Anti-Web revolutionary, armed with fountain pens and stamps smashing modems in my Royal Mail cape. I am no superhero. This here, is a superhero...
So my reason for the Title today. Along with the joys of browsing the online Argos (much the same as going to the shop, but with less walking) and finding answers to questions that you would only ask when your comfort mask of Internet anonymous is strapped to your face, those of us who like to attempt humour and not spend our day obtaining champion wrist cramp, are lost here.
We are accused of being rude when quite clearly, to us, we are attempting to take tone on a screen. About as easy as getting a corset on a giraffe. An informative communication is taken as snappy and harsh. Obvious rules. If I give you a one word answer, that is an answer, yes? informative but brief. If I give the same answer and follow it with ShitSandwich, I am being rude to you. Which would you rather have. Peoples assumption that I am being short with them is bringing me ever closer to using the second one on a regular basis. '3pm' will change to '3pm ShitSandwich!' Nobody wants that. Let's all reach a resolution lovely people.
We are all human beings. Life is too short to spend it with you assuming, me replying, you expressing your feelings and retracting your assumption, me plotting against you.
I'll make it simple. I will end all hesitation and doubt in the world wide worries that befall some distressed, obsessed individuals. I feel for you, I want to help you, I know you need to convey your objections at peoples chosen form of wit. Allow me to present to you, an answer that you can use when considering your next complex and mesmerising post or message. I promise it will solve these ills.
Fuck Off.
....to the rest of you, I bloody well love you to pieces, you are all great. I want to hug you.
I am not behind the times or some kind of Anti-Web revolutionary, armed with fountain pens and stamps smashing modems in my Royal Mail cape. I am no superhero. This here, is a superhero...
So my reason for the Title today. Along with the joys of browsing the online Argos (much the same as going to the shop, but with less walking) and finding answers to questions that you would only ask when your comfort mask of Internet anonymous is strapped to your face, those of us who like to attempt humour and not spend our day obtaining champion wrist cramp, are lost here.
We are accused of being rude when quite clearly, to us, we are attempting to take tone on a screen. About as easy as getting a corset on a giraffe. An informative communication is taken as snappy and harsh. Obvious rules. If I give you a one word answer, that is an answer, yes? informative but brief. If I give the same answer and follow it with ShitSandwich, I am being rude to you. Which would you rather have. Peoples assumption that I am being short with them is bringing me ever closer to using the second one on a regular basis. '3pm' will change to '3pm ShitSandwich!' Nobody wants that. Let's all reach a resolution lovely people.
We are all human beings. Life is too short to spend it with you assuming, me replying, you expressing your feelings and retracting your assumption, me plotting against you.
I'll make it simple. I will end all hesitation and doubt in the world wide worries that befall some distressed, obsessed individuals. I feel for you, I want to help you, I know you need to convey your objections at peoples chosen form of wit. Allow me to present to you, an answer that you can use when considering your next complex and mesmerising post or message. I promise it will solve these ills.
Fuck Off.
....to the rest of you, I bloody well love you to pieces, you are all great. I want to hug you.
Sunday, 23 January 2011
Realistic Story Corner
Fairytales and Nursery Rhymes.
Humpty Dumpty is a victim of the inappropriate stamp of dislike (Politically Incorrect Character). Judging by his shape his fall and demise was inevitable. First off, his shape was Egg like, so even in checkered shorts he wouldn't have been able to maintain his posture and stability. I don't think Humpty ever sat on that wall, I think he may have attempted to, but his efforts were met with failure. I would have thought that after having spent some time attempting to sit at ground level and ending like the tortoise on its back flailing about trying to correct himself, Humpty may have had the sense not to attempt the same feat on a wall. According to the book below, which has apparently passed the traum-o-meter, although Humpty was not appropriate on a wall, he did have a chance to procreate. I don't even want to know how that worked.
Next, Three Blind Mice had their tales removed by a lady in a kitchen. Again politically incorrect. I apologise for my naivety, I guess that these days we lure them from the kitchens of England by offering them Waitrose Gruyere and reciting Tennyson. It's not wrong, it's realistic. If I met a mouse in my kitchen I certainly wouldn't Hi Five it.
The Brothers Grimm penned an elderly child eater. However as a child I never considered the possibility that I may be eaten. I was sitting there mindscreaming "IT'S A HOUSE MADE OUT OF GINGERBREAD, BLOODY GINGERBREAD" No consequences, just baked goods.
If you go in a book shop now, you will see a lot of the visible character books are based on characters that have airtime on major TV channels. So hey, maybe it's not political correctness. I am being a pessimist again aren't I? It is for the children. Humpty is a traumatic tale of uncaring non-vegan bastards on horse back not meeting the needs of the local Egg shaped wall climbing nutcase.
Hooray for In The Night Garden, with their nonsensical speech patterns and mesmerising music. Don't give your child Dumpty, give your child this....
Yes, Time To Wash Faces with Macca Pakka.
Yes. That is the acceptable face of young childhood storytelling. Those cold eyes just spell fairytale, don't they? Bless him.
Anyway. Enough of my nonsense.
Humpty Dumpty is a victim of the inappropriate stamp of dislike (Politically Incorrect Character). Judging by his shape his fall and demise was inevitable. First off, his shape was Egg like, so even in checkered shorts he wouldn't have been able to maintain his posture and stability. I don't think Humpty ever sat on that wall, I think he may have attempted to, but his efforts were met with failure. I would have thought that after having spent some time attempting to sit at ground level and ending like the tortoise on its back flailing about trying to correct himself, Humpty may have had the sense not to attempt the same feat on a wall. According to the book below, which has apparently passed the traum-o-meter, although Humpty was not appropriate on a wall, he did have a chance to procreate. I don't even want to know how that worked.
Next, Three Blind Mice had their tales removed by a lady in a kitchen. Again politically incorrect. I apologise for my naivety, I guess that these days we lure them from the kitchens of England by offering them Waitrose Gruyere and reciting Tennyson. It's not wrong, it's realistic. If I met a mouse in my kitchen I certainly wouldn't Hi Five it.
The Brothers Grimm penned an elderly child eater. However as a child I never considered the possibility that I may be eaten. I was sitting there mindscreaming "IT'S A HOUSE MADE OUT OF GINGERBREAD, BLOODY GINGERBREAD" No consequences, just baked goods.
If you go in a book shop now, you will see a lot of the visible character books are based on characters that have airtime on major TV channels. So hey, maybe it's not political correctness. I am being a pessimist again aren't I? It is for the children. Humpty is a traumatic tale of uncaring non-vegan bastards on horse back not meeting the needs of the local Egg shaped wall climbing nutcase.
Hooray for In The Night Garden, with their nonsensical speech patterns and mesmerising music. Don't give your child Dumpty, give your child this....
Yes, Time To Wash Faces with Macca Pakka.
Yes. That is the acceptable face of young childhood storytelling. Those cold eyes just spell fairytale, don't they? Bless him.
Anyway. Enough of my nonsense.
Friday, 14 January 2011
Unpredictable Friday/Advanced Mathematics
Hey, today is Friday. The party begins here people. Let's launch ourselves into the weekend revelry by getting a little crazy. Allow me to engage to good people of web with a lovely image, Ministry of Sound album cover? Hardhouse podium Dancer with glow bracelets?
That's the Lorenz Attractor. It is beautifully complex. It is mathematical soft porn. Apart from the known Butterfly effect, it is one of the definitive descriptions of what is known as Chaos Theory.
Seemingly unpredictable movements taking place in a determinative system. The rate of some things being constant in movement, for example, being made unstable at the point of origin, with the effects only being seen once the initial disorder reaches a wider scale.
The mission is to find the factors at the point of origin that produce Chaos, giving order to Chaos, as there is Chaos in order.
So for some Friday fun, I'm going back to basics. As an alternative to Twitters Follow Friday, I am going to show a little appreciation to the wonderful people who think in numbers.
The picture above shows that basic order and disorder in it's mathematical form, can be an extremely beautiful thing.
Turn off Twitter, turn off Facebook, go outside and appreciate the simple and seemingly mundane things. They are not as mundane as you think.
That is all.
That's the Lorenz Attractor. It is beautifully complex. It is mathematical soft porn. Apart from the known Butterfly effect, it is one of the definitive descriptions of what is known as Chaos Theory.Seemingly unpredictable movements taking place in a determinative system. The rate of some things being constant in movement, for example, being made unstable at the point of origin, with the effects only being seen once the initial disorder reaches a wider scale.
The mission is to find the factors at the point of origin that produce Chaos, giving order to Chaos, as there is Chaos in order.
So for some Friday fun, I'm going back to basics. As an alternative to Twitters Follow Friday, I am going to show a little appreciation to the wonderful people who think in numbers.
The picture above shows that basic order and disorder in it's mathematical form, can be an extremely beautiful thing.
Turn off Twitter, turn off Facebook, go outside and appreciate the simple and seemingly mundane things. They are not as mundane as you think.
That is all.
Thursday, 13 January 2011
I like MS Paint
Oh look, a little Omen-esque drawing. Character from a little short I worked on last year. One of many little things in my desktop box of unfinished fun. A unusual ode to an admired writer. (Yes, that writer) What can I say, I likes what I likes boys and girls.
That is all.
That is all.
A Cynics Romance
Something, a bit rhymey. Was reading a lot of Edgar Allan Poe last night. Anyway, here, have some of this.
Give me this rain and a beautiful grey sky
Bring me the winding road and hills
And bring me a still and silent gaze
Give me lust in it's bracing phase
A sharp wit and a cynics smile
While the rest walk by
In search of loves illusions
Give me a refusal to submit
And an amusement of fear
That apprehends the mind
With a tight unwavering grip
And leave me
To savor and write.
Give me this rain and a beautiful grey sky
Bring me the winding road and hills
And bring me a still and silent gaze
Give me lust in it's bracing phase
A sharp wit and a cynics smile
While the rest walk by
In search of loves illusions
Give me a refusal to submit
And an amusement of fear
That apprehends the mind
With a tight unwavering grip
And leave me
To savor and write.
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