Humpty Dumpty is a victim of the inappropriate stamp of dislike (Politically Incorrect Character). Judging by his shape his fall and demise was inevitable. First off, his shape was Egg like, so even in checkered shorts he wouldn't have been able to maintain his posture and stability. I don't think Humpty ever sat on that wall, I think he may have attempted to, but his efforts were met with failure. I would have thought that after having spent some time attempting to sit at ground level and ending like the tortoise on its back flailing about trying to correct himself, Humpty may have had the sense not to attempt the same feat on a wall. According to the book below, which has apparently passed the traum-o-meter, although Humpty was not appropriate on a wall, he did have a chance to procreate. I don't even want to know how that worked.
Next, Three Blind Mice had their tales removed by a lady in a kitchen. Again politically incorrect. I apologise for my naivety, I guess that these days we lure them from the kitchens of England by offering them Waitrose Gruyere and reciting Tennyson. It's not wrong, it's realistic. If I met a mouse in my kitchen I certainly wouldn't Hi Five it.
The Brothers Grimm penned an elderly child eater. However as a child I never considered the possibility that I may be eaten. I was sitting there mindscreaming "IT'S A HOUSE MADE OUT OF GINGERBREAD, BLOODY GINGERBREAD" No consequences, just baked goods.
If you go in a book shop now, you will see a lot of the visible character books are based on characters that have airtime on major TV channels. So hey, maybe it's not political correctness. I am being a pessimist again aren't I? It is for the children. Humpty is a traumatic tale of uncaring non-vegan bastards on horse back not meeting the needs of the local Egg shaped wall climbing nutcase.
Hooray for In The Night Garden, with their nonsensical speech patterns and mesmerising music. Don't give your child Dumpty, give your child this....
Yes, Time To Wash Faces with Macca Pakka.
Yes. That is the acceptable face of young childhood storytelling. Those cold eyes just spell fairytale, don't they? Bless him.
Anyway. Enough of my nonsense.
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